A Million Unknown Friends

My husband noticed that I haven't written in several weeks. I've been trying my hardest to cope with this persistent rash. Some days I feel like myself, while on other days, I lack the energy or motivation to engage in life. This needs to stop, and I hope the next medication, which I'm waiting for the insurance company to approve, will achieve that. I am certain because if it doesn't then I move onto scary intervention. Sometimes when you are in a dark place, you think you've been buried when actually you have been planted. Ruminate on that. Your perspective is everything. Approach life, issues, problems from a place of curiosity. Everything is here to teach us. Find the lesson and grow.

So, what's been going on with me? Well, I've been on a mission to break free from the clutches of social media. I bravely closed my Facebook account, and let me tell you, it was like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. I swear, giving birth was easier! Not because I miss Facebook, but because Mark Zuckerberg turned it into an escape room challenge. First, my password was "wrong" (it wasn’t, I promise), and I had to reset it. After jumping through all the hoops, I got a message saying, "Oh, you can't do that on your phone." So, I dusted off my laptop. I tried to delete my account entirely, but Facebook was like, "Nah, let's just deactivate." Seven days later, like a clingy ex, Facebook was back. I was flabbergasted and tried to deactivate again. That's when I noticed the fine print: they'd kindly reactivate my account in 7 days unless I screamed "DON'T!" at the top of my lungs. I've ranted before about the illusion of friendships based on connections. I kept my friend list leaner than a supermodel on a diet. My birthday came and went while Facebook was deactivated, so no automatic reminders. A few people remembered anyway and reached out. Even my tiny circle felt like a mirage. Honestly, I don't miss it, except for a few groups where I got my daily dose of information.

Instagram's got a unique vibe for me compared to other social media. It's more fun. Unlike other platforms where I keep up with friends and family, I decided not to follow any friends on Instagram. This lets me have a feed that's all about entertainment and whimsy. It's my little escape, a spot where I can dive into fun and creative posts without the usual social drama.

What I love most about Instagram is the endless variety of content. From stunning photos to hilarious short clips, it's like a goldmine of fun. Seriously, who doesn't love a video of a dog driving a car? These lighthearted clips always make me smile, and I find myself laughing a lot as I scroll. The creativity people show is amazing, with glimpses into their lives, artistic projects, and, of course, funny pet antics. Every post has the power to brighten my day, turning my Instagram time into a fun adventure instead of a chore.

The algorithm really gets me. It keeps showing me stuff I love, leading to awesome surprises. I might find a quirky meme, a sweet animal rescue story, or a cool art piece that grabs my attention. This steady stream of fun content keeps me hooked and often leaves me amused. Basically, Instagram has become my go-to place for a light-hearted break, full of laughter and joy, surrounded by a community of creative folks who love the silly and entertaining as much as I do.

No one has noticed my absence. It’s a strange feeling, really, to drift through days and weeks without anyone reaching out to ask where the heck I went. No one has messaged me asking why I haven’t been around, why I'm not posting funny memes, This silence is deafening, and it serves as further proof for me that your friends list isn’t really a list of friends at all. We collect people like we collect shoes. We like a lot of variety, haven't worn some pairs in years but yet we hold onto them.

It makes me ponder the nature of these connections we often take for granted. Are they simply names on a digital screen, or do they represent genuine relationships? In a world where social media has become a primary means of communication, it is disheartening to realize that the people we consider friends may not truly care about our well-being. The absence of a simple message, a text, or even a comment on my social media hiatus peaks volumes about the depth of these connections.

Perhaps it’s a reflection of our times, where superficial interactions have replaced meaningful conversations. The notifications that once filled my phone have dwindled to nothing, leaving me to question the authenticity of these relationships. Are we all so caught up in our own lives that we fail to notice when someone is missing? Or is it that we’ve become so accustomed to the presence of others online that we overlook the significance of their absence?

In moments of solitude, I find myself contemplating the true essence of friendship. It’s not merely about having a long list of acquaintances; it’s about the quality of those relationships. True friends are the ones who notice when we are gone, who reach out to see if we are okay, and who genuinely care about our lives. The realization that no one has checked in on me has opened my eyes to the reality that perhaps many of the connections I thought were strong were, in fact, quite fragile.

This experience has prompted me to reevaluate my own friendships and the way I engage with others. Am I as present for my friends as I would like them to be for me? Am I reaching out to those who might be feeling the same way I do? It’s a sobering thought, yet it also presents an opportunity for growth and deeper connections. As I reflect on this absence, I am reminded of the importance of nurturing relationships and ensuring that those we consider friends truly feel valued and acknowledged.

Surround yourself with the best people—those who uplift you, make you laugh, and encourage you to improve. Choose individuals who support you even when you're not present. Spend time with those who excite you and make you feel good. Friendship isn't defined by how long you've known someone or the distance between you. It's about the person who entered your life, looked you in the eye, and said, "I'm here for you," then backed it up with their actions. We all know that words are cheap, but real magic lies in actions. A true friend doesn't just say they're there for you when times are easy; they show up when the storm hits, when everything falls apart, and life gets messy. They roll up their sleeves, dive into the chaos, and stay. They don't abandon you when you're struggling or vanish when things get uncomfortable. They're right there, proving that friendship isn't about convenience—it's about commitment. These past months have shown me that best friends can become strangers just as easily as strangers can become best friends. When people reveal their true selves through their actions, believe them. Don't make excuses for them. Accept that if they wanted to, they would, and their behavior reflects who they truly are.

He walks by and asks what I'm doing and I say that I'm writing. He says good, write Colleen.